This year for Nintendo followers will be known as the year Nintendo couldn’t be fucking making anything else- and just putting out 4 Mario titles on show. It will also be known for the Sony fan boys as the year Sony made the PSP even more uglier.

I was going to bitch first and foremost about how Nintendo’s offerings where disappointing and beaten by finally the third party showings for their consoles. But this morning I kept seeing people talk about the PSP Go- now I knew Sony last week during E3 decided to step up and do some hardware changes to their disappointing PSP (which if I’m not mistaken is still doing better then their PS3 unit?) anyway- so I’m like sure, lets check this up. I fired up some videos, looked at some information then at the end of it I only had one reaction…

WTF!

A few weeks ago this really ugly version of the PSP was released which was doubled the “Go” heck it even used the name, and started back up the PSP redesign rumours. We got facts such as the device going digital download, loosing UMD slot and totally becoming the ugliest device this generation. Maybe its time for Nokia to spring another N-Gage device on us.

So it seems to be based on these pictures which were leaked, they did a quick redesign to those images- and fixed up a few things to make it more “polished” then when E3 came, they basically presented the same crap.

So now the PSP is this flip device which has the  buttons crammed together under the screen. Like all flip devices, I bet this is going to be raped by problems such as weight movement around the device and the simple fact its going to be uncomfortable to hold in that position for a long time.

Unless the default colour is Pink and the device is aimed at Girls- this thing is going to be to ugly and impractical for any sane person to consider.

Moving on from that interesting yet ugly piece of hardware from Sony- is Nintendo’s showings this E3. This time they essentially relied on a strong third party showing. Which dam well produced. But what Nintendo showed themselves was interesting at best.

Nintendo’s prime showings for me would of been Golden Sun- it was unpredicted after the millions of E3’s fans just gave up predicting and hoping it would return. Overall if the story and depth which was in the original (the second one just sucked) then I say we are going to see one great solid game.

But if we say this is the biggest thing they showed during the press conference? Then we would be lying- but at the same time, game wise its probably the least disgraceful and unwanted title out of the bunch.

Nintendo pushed their luck last time with Mario Galaxy and its brand new world and style. Fans ate that up like no tomorrow. In the past few generations Nintendo has had the great love of once that happened to leave the core series alone and then work on other titles. When they come back the next Gen- the Mario title would be fresh and interesting.

But no- Nintendo came back prematurely this time and offered 4 Mario titles on show. Yes fucking 4 unwanted, unneeded titles to cash into the cash cow they created. A smart business move? Maybe- but its quite possible that this cow exploded ages ago.

Nintendo’s prime lust for Mario was the direct sequel to the original Galaxy title. Nintendo announced Super Mario Galaxy 2 with straight faces. Doubts where raised, but in the end when the press latched themselves to it- they where like “hey this is like Galaxy- that means its awesome”. NO that means that you played and enjoyed it enough to be brainwashed by a typical business move.

In the end Galaxy is going to be the same as the original, just with a few extra ideas and over all a bunch of new levels. A few levels have stayed but the objective has changed. Fascinating.

The rest of the Mario titles where the Donkey Kong Minis one which was a sequel to the original. I wasn’t a fan of that to an extent- but it was a great title (the original). If I remember correct the last one they showed was just Mario & Luigi 3.

But the 4th one? Well that’s easy that was New Super Mario Bros. Wii, which is a sequel to the original DS one.  Its multiplayer and that means its going to bring back the original charm of multiplayer on the older SNES titles. But questions are raised here about if the charm the original had on the DS will be lost on the Wii version. And finally no online for this title because – apparently they have already touched the limits of the Wii by doing multiplayer, online would be rape.

WTF.

At lest that would possibly be the most acceptable “new” Mario title on show. I say new so lightly because hey look they are all sequels. Fantastic.

So what else did Nintendo show? Well nothing that interesting, just some bastard child version of Metroid which plays like Crash Bandicoot and another motion extension. This time its something which goes on your finger. Like those love game and sex game things near Black Cat.

Overall for Nintendo’s side of things I say the game of the show was Cursed Mountain by Deep Silver. Watching those videos, the style of the game really reminds me of Disaster: Day of Crisis.

Now onto Microsoft- it seems they have done nothing to piss me off? Oh wait yes they did. Their motion control thing which reminds me of an Eye toy. But anyway nothing else- oh and their fans saying FF XIII was the best thing of show overall. The fuck? Its Final Fantasy, nothing has changed over the years just its getting more and more bullshit.

Microsoft is targeting the generation with those crazy pointy ears, by having Twitter and Facebook now integrated into the dash of the 360. My question is why hasn’t Nintendo done this? Seems to fit perfect with their new target audience- oh yeah protect the children. Lovely.

Finally everyone seems to be bitching this year about PR from various companies checking out other companies goods. Seems more then ever they are bitching about this- what more is this happens every year. So quit your bitching like its something new!

Overall: The blue ocean has became the red ocean and now Nintendo is going to cry and then release something even more different. But over all everyone’s conferences where pretty Red Ocean, sticking with what they know how to do best. And for Nintendo that’s releasing 4 different Mario games, a Metroid game which epic twisters, and finally revealing some promo artwork for the Legend of Zelda Wii, and making it specific to mention- Link has no sword in that. What more is that the fans decided- THE CHICK IS THE SWORD OMFG.

What a great year. More like a stupid year, I liked it when there was nothing fans wanted, now there is- its all bastardized crap.